The Choice

"Obviously it's not going to work so maybe they should just stop trying." I expected this comment from the woman who has 4 children and never had any problems during pregnancy. But a friend who used in-vitro to have her babies? Really?!

When do you stop trying? I hated the thought of losing another but I always had hope that this one would make it. After the 3rd loss we decided to just let things happen. What ever the outcome, we would deal with it. After the 7th loss I told my husband I didn't want to do this anymore.

The decision to keep trying or do something different is very personal. The couple needs to do what they feel is best for them and their family. And we should never judge another couple for the choice they make because we really don't know all the details.

It Takes Time

Patience. Something I'm working on. I realized that I went through the grieving process like it was a To Do List. I checked everything off and set it aside. On to the next project.

Unfortunately, that's not exactly how it works. Sometimes we need to linger a little longer and allow ourselves to FEEL the emotions. I think I did at first. After 4 or 5 miscarriages though, I told myself I didn't have time for this. I had things that I needed to do. I quickly went through the range of emotions and then moved on.

Healing takes time. When I have a cold I can't just wake up one morning and say I'm over this. There are things I can do to relieve the symptoms and speed the recovery, but it still takes time. Emotional healing is like that too. It takes time.

Baby Steps

A toddler, just learning to walk, teeters across the hard wood floor. She comes to the edge of a large area rug in the middle of the room. She stares at the rug with wide eyes. She lifts her right foot then sets it back down. She lifts her left foot and sets it back down. She looks around for help.

While the rug is only about a 1/2 inch step, to this new-walker it seems like a mountain. To her, it's a stumbling block in her path. It takes a few days of practice before she is able to sail over the step without hesitation or stumbling.

Sometimes in life we meet these obstacles. We stare wide eyed and wonder how we will ever make it over. We may even try to raise our feet and then fall flat on our face.

Courage is having the faith to try and then try again. Not every obstacle can be overcome on the first attempt. And when we do finally overcome and look back, we see that it was really only a 1/2 inch step. Not actually anything to get upset about. Our goal in this life is not to avoid the obstacles but to learn how to overcome them and keep going. Each one is a stepping stone to a higher level of being.

My advice for myself today is hold on and don't give up! This journey is a process that will take time and lots of baby steps.